In Charlotte & Online Across NC & SC

Grief Therapy for Women Navigating the Loss of a Parent

Because no matter how grown up you are, you will always be someone’s child—and their absence changes everything.

When you lose a parent, it can leave you feeling lost—questioning yourself, your place in the world, & what to do next.

Some believe the loss of a parent “makes sense” or falls into the “natural order of things”.

So that means it shouldn’t hurt this bad…right? Maybe it’s a line you’ve tried to feed yourself or something others offered you in hopes of softening this pain. Unfortunately, it only adds salt to the wound.

Being a mom, wife, daughter, coworker, partner, or caregiver was enough as is. Now, you’re grieving PLUS maintaining all the hats. Whether others can see it or not, on the inside, you know you haven’t been the same since that dreaded day.

Now, you find yourself…

    • “Remember to call X, follow up about Y, and respond to Z. Oh yeah, and pick up the kids after school!”

    • “Do I really have to get out of bed today?”

    • “When am I going to fall apart again?! I don’t have the space for all of this!”

    • “Can I opt out now?”

  • Spouse, siblings, friends, coworkers, maybe even your kids or your other parent—they say the wrong thing, say nothing at all, expect you to “be the same” as before, or seem to need you constantly. With this new full time job you didn’t ask for (a.k.a. grieving) you just don’t have the energy, time, or empathy to give like you usually do.

  • You might be supporting your other parent, family, extended family, or siblings. Maybe you chose this, maybe you didn’t. Either way, it’s exhausting.

  • You no longer have your anchor in life. Even if you have others that love you, it’s nothing like the love from your mom or dad. Not to mention the endless tasks that come with loss, plus the new feelings, thoughts, and sensations. Everything you have is being sucked out of you by your grief—stolen from the reserves but not replenished.

  • Your parent may not have been that sweet, nurturing type. Or, perhaps they were suffering for a long time and they’re finally free of it. (This may feel weird, but it’s completely normal.)

    • “I should of called more.”

    • “Why did I let myself get so angry that day?”

    • “We weren’t even that close, why am I so devastated?”

    • “Did I make the right decision? Is that what they would have wanted?”

You have no idea how you’re going to keep going on like this but there’s no option to stop. So you just keep pushing forward.

But all of this forcing, stumbling, and efforting comes with a cost. It’s not easy to admit, one, this weighs on you, or two, it may be getting too heavy. If this is beginning to feel true for you, please know, you don’t have to keep carrying this alone any longer.

I’m grateful for everything you’ve tried, knowingly or unknowingly, that has allowed you to make it to today.

You’re doing more to help yourself here than you think—I promise.

Whether you’ve lost one parent or both, it was recent or years ago, or your relationship was close, traumatic, or strained—it all belongs here.

  • No matter what kind of parent you had, you will grieve them. “Parent” is whatever that means to you. It may be a biological parent, adoptive parent, grandparent, another caregiver, anything that feels accurate to you, is welcomed. Whether you’re grieving who they were—or who they couldn’t be—your grief is valid and allowed.

    There are all sorts of parent-child relationships: close, loving, complicated, traumatic, distant, non-existent, decent, love/hate, nurturing, strained, full of resentments—you name it, then it exists. You don’t need anyone’s permission to “qualify” your grief. If you feel ANYTHING (or NOTHING) about this loss, then you’re grieving.

    Whether your loss was years ago, a few months back, or just the other week, there’s no timeline on grief. You will get to it when you feel you can. For some, that’s right away or within the first year. For others, it lies dormant and surfaces at, what can feel like, random and unexpected times. That’s okay.

    I’m sorry you’ve lost someone you love and I’m grateful you’re here. You deserve support no matter who your parent was to you. You’re the one that’s here trying to live through this and it’s no easy task. If you’d like someone to walk alongside you through your grief, I’m here for you.

    Questions? Let’s connect.

Grief support that honors the whole story…

the connection that tethered you to the world, the loss that reshaped it, & all the layers in between.

No matter how you’re trying to manage your grief—burying, camouflaging, dodging—it sticks to you like clingwrap. It’s like that pestering bully in middle school that catches you in the hallway, embarasses you in front of everyone, and has a way of ruining your day just with their presence.

I get it! It’s annoying, exhausting, and unpredictable. Why would you want to engage with something like that? Grief isn’t something that can be fixed or gotten over. But it is something you can choose to move through and learn to carry forward.

Believe it or not, how grief feels and your relationship to it, doesn’t always have to remain exactly like it is today.

With presence, care, and willingness, you may discover your relationship with your grief can grow into something…different.

Perhaps in this different relationship with your grief you feel…

TRUSTING

You begin to open yourself to the idea that your grief belongs, has a purpose, and isn’t here to harm you but to remind you of who and what has been lost.

CONNECTED

Becoming less untethered & anchored within. Growing in connection—to yourself, to your loved one, to your grief, to others, perhaps to your life again.

UNDERSTANDING

As you’re able to trust your grief & slowly gain capacity to be with it, you get familiar with it—the rhythms, the feelings, the pain points—it starts to make more sense.

EMPOWERED

Choice is no longer an illusion because you’ve found options, tools, resources, people, places, and spaces to turn to in times of need.

GROUNDED

You’ve discovered ways to help you feel without getting swept away. Or if you do found yourself “swept”, you know how to get back to center.

HOW WE WORK TOGETHER

You deserve support from others that know how to show up, believe what you’re experiencing is real, and can face the darkness with you.

Being willing to invite someone along for your journey may feel intimidating, but even the strongest among us can’t exist without others. We need connections to survive and thrive.

If I’m invited to join you on this path, I commit to being an ally, advocate, & witness to you & your grief:

  • No part of this road is too dark, too long, or too windy—I want to hear and witness what you’re willing to share with me. I will be by your side, as long as you allow me to be, walking with you through this journey.

    As an ally, I won’t be fixing this, taking this away, or doing this for you. Just like a child learning, you don’t really learn when it’s done for you. You learn through experience and with trusted people by your side. I know…this isn’t the “experience” you asked for. We’ll get into the feels about that, I promise! But you’re here now and I truly believe you can get through this. Let’s try, together.

  • If you’re reading this, then a part of you already knows how hard this is. As someone willing to walk with you, I will offer encouragement when you feel like you can’t go on, hope when the light seems like it’s fading (or you find yourself in utter darkness), and companionship so you don’t have the travel through your grief in isolation.

    Another big piece of this work is often education—we don’t teach people how to grieve, how brutal if can be, and what normal grieving looks and feels like. This is often a part of why it’s so distressing! With any information I may offer, you get to choose what fits for you. I’m a big proponent of “take what you like, leave the rest”. What resonates with you matters and you have the right for that to shift at any time. Grief morphs, just like every other part of life. As will you. You deserve support that believes your grief is real, honors your courage to face it, and understands how and why it reshapes you.

  • Sometimes people wonder what makes a therapist different from a friend, partner, or family member. Spoiler alert: I don’t have a crystal ball, I can’t tell you what you should do, and sadly, we both know, I can’t bring them back. What I do have is a lot of experience, patience, & desire to be with you in your grief.

    This helps me to show up with openness, curiosity, and flexibility, which (honestly) others may not always feel in your presence right now. You may not even feel that way with yourself! That’s where I come in. I’m here to allow you to grieve and help you allow yourself to grieve. This is a big piece of being someone’s witness—no fixing, no minimizing, no ignoring. Emitting hope, permission, and grace while you do the hard work of grieving.

Grief therapy for navigating the loss of a parent can support you to:

  • Understand how you’re relating to your grief in this moment & discover what you want that relationship to really look like

  • Honor your parent for who they were—the good, the bad, and the messy middle

  • Untangle what may be lingering inside you, complicating your grief and making it hard to focus, sleep, or connect with others

  • Learn how to navigate strong emotions, troubling thoughts, or reoccurring memories, stories, or messages

  • Grieve as you feel called to, without limits, editing, or censoring yourself

  • Discover how to connect to your parent, if you want to, when they are no longer physically with you

Grief support that honors your pace, your instincts, & the whole story.

Let’s discover the sort of relationship you want with your grief—no forgetting, no forcing, no rushing.

Frequently Asked Questions about Grief Therapy for Loss of a Parent

  • Great question! I have many adult children reach out on behalf of their surviving  parent. I get it—it can be really concerning to see them upset, crying all the time, acting differently, seeming stuck, needing you (or your siblings) A LOT. Whatever it may be that you’re witnessing, and they’re experiencing, can be really tough to see.

    At the same time, how someone begins therapy, especially grief therapy, matters. I’ve had many conversations with a handful of other grief therapists I respect and, we all unanimously agree, making that initial call and going through the motions of seeking out your own support is critical. You can’t force someone to grieve, or to grieve the way you want them to, which isn’t easy to hear when you may be feeling scared, tired, annoyed, or in the midst your own grief and life.

    Usually what I recommend (which you might not like)…getting your own support. Whether they chose to get support for themselves or not, you may benefit from having a place to talk about these challenges, create space for your own grief, and develop tools for how to manage these new waters within your family. How YOU show up, can make a difference for you and them.

  • Yes! Sometimes, the more complicated, the trickier the grief. This isn’t an absolute but, in my experience, those who would describe their relationship with their parent with words like “complicated”, “toxic”, “difficult” or “traumatic” (among other things) tend to feel really confused by their grief. Especially if ties were cut a while ago or there was already a lot of distance or strain in the relationship. The grief can still be quite strong with these sorts of dynamics present. And you’ll know better than I will but, usually, there’s a lot of history that’s led to the “complicated-ness”.

    Having a space where you can share the truth about your grief, talk about any history (if it’s relevant), and speak openly about what your relationship to your parent looked like, no matter how messy, can be quite valuable. If you have any specific questions about your particular journey, I’d be glad to explore them with you on a consultation call. Feel free to reach out.

  • My guess is that something has landed you here…personally, I’d be curious to know more about what’s brought you here, even if you are typically a pretty independent person! Most people don’t seek out therapy because they want things to stay the exact same. There’s usually a need, desire, or hope for some sort of shift.

    It’s no secret that there’s vulnerability and courage involved in allowing someone else to walk with you in any part of your life. As someone who wants to walk with you, I don’t want to take away your ability to feel like you can handle things. We actually want to strengthen that! AND there is great value in knowing when what you’re capable of doing on your own meets it’s limit.

    So yes, I think therapy can be incredibly valuable for you if you typically handle things on your own. Ultimately, you get to choose what resonates with you, what isn’t for you, and what you’re willing to try in therapy.

More questions? Check out my FAQ page.

grieve your truth

—

grieve your truth —